The chapel is quiet. Every head is reverently bowed as men and women around you ponder the Savior’s atonement. Even the children seem to grasp the solemn nature of the divine gift from above. Then, suddenly, to your horror, your child makes an announcement that echoes through the silent room.
Kids have a tendency to be oblivious to things that make their parents blush. They also seem to enjoy making the pronouncements in as a loud a voice as possible, particularly when everyone else can hear them. If you’re lucky, your kids won’t think to make one of these pronouncements:
10. Look how many pieces of bread I can fit in my mouth at once! (this is usually accompanied by a lunge for the sacrament tray)
9. I don’t want to be like Jesus! I want to pretend to be like Satan! (yes, a statement that one of my children actually made, though thankfully not during sacrament)
8. Wow, these hymnals make great coloring books! (a comment sure to make you rue bringing crayons)
7. No, Mommy, we can’t just leave our Cheerios on the floor! We have to clean up every one! (generally good after you dump an entire container of cereal out)
6. I told you I had to go to the bathroom! (the potty-trainer’s favorite line!)
5. Sister So-and-so doesn’t need any bread! She’s already really fat! (it makes you wonder if you really can die of embarrassment)
4. Why is the Bishop picking his nose? Doesn’t he know boogers don’t taste good? (of course, if the Bishop is picking his nose on the stand, he might deserve this one…)
3. Daddy, I thought you were supposed to prepare your lesson before we come to church! (and you ask yourself, why did I teach my kids to be prepared?)
2. Save your water cups! I want to build a tower with them! (some days you just want to put your head in your hands)
And, of course, the most embarrassing thing your child can announce to the entire ward:
1. Mommy, you were snoring again!
Did you know that some people are actually able to focus on repentance and the sacrament at church?
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