Have you earned your parent wings? Of course you have! Here is a humorous look at the top ten ways that you know you have gone from single sophisticate to dedicated parent.
10. You pack yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You already have the ingredients out on the counter anyway, and let’s face it, in your sleep deprived state it would just take too much effort to try to assemble something else.
9. You carry hand sanitizer wherever you go. A good cold was once a good excuse for staying home from work and indulging in a day of television and magazines. Now a good cold means multiple trips to the pediatrician’s office and pharmacy, miserable whiney people to take care of when you yourself are sick, and rearranging everyone’s schedule.
8. Lice is a four letter word. Ew. That is all I have to say, just Ew.
7. You are best buddies with Elmo. You know that Elmo loves his goldfish Dorothy, singing the ABS song and cupcakes. But you can’t remember whether or not your best friend is allergic to anchovies, if your husband likes Fellini films or how old your mother-in-law is.
6. You can recite at least three children’s books from memory. “A told B and B told C “I’ll meet you at the top of the coconut tree.” “Wee,” said D to EFG…
5. You can debate the merits of Crayola versus Rose Art. Sometimes a crayon is just a crayon.
4. Bodily fluids no longer bother you. You’ve been peed upon, pooped upon, thrown up upon, spit upon, snotted upon and even bled upon, sometimes all in the same day. What else is left to fear?
3. You refer to yourself in the third person all of the time. “Mommy will get your drink in a minute.” This can get awkward in a room full of adults.
2. You choose your furniture and your wardrobe based on durability and not style. Sometimes you even mix the two up as in the denim slipcover and the mom jeans that make you look like a table from the back.
1. You have long and meaningful discussions with imaginary people on your child’s plastic play phone. Hey, it is cheaper than therapy.
You can read more blog posts by Mary Ann Romans here!