When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ -Sydney J. Harris
I talked about what every husband needs to know and what every wife needs to know today. Now I want to talk about what every couple needs to know. Marriage is a union that involves your personalities, your dreams, your aspirations, your needs and yes, your flaws as well.
Sometimes you have to toss out the guidebook and make allowances for personality quirks and flaws. You have to show patience. You have to show understanding. But beyond those, you need to have the capacity of forgiveness.
Your husband or your wife is going to do something at some point that hurts your feelings. They are going to be thoughtless. They are going to be selfish. They are going to have bad days. They are even going to say things they really don’t mean.
Everyone does.
You need to show the capacity for forgiveness so that both of you can enjoy your relationship without building resentments, anxieties and distaste. If your spouse has a persistently bad habit that drives you nuts; discuss it. Discuss how you can both make allowances for it. Find a way to build success into your marriage.
For example, if your husband is constantly forgetful. It can drive you nuts. It can make you feel less than important. You can grow to resent that forgetfulness because no matter how apologetic they are, you know you can’t rely on them. Help your husband to remember, by offering to write down reminders, lists or even leaving them voice mail.
If you stop relying on your husband and start expecting them to just be forgetful; you are setting yourselves up for failure and resentment. Forgive the flaw, as no one is perfect. You can help each other compensate for these issues by forgiving each other and helping each other out.
Life is hard.
Marriage is hard.
Compared to loneliness, anger and resentment – discovering alternatives is a lot more attractive.