One thing I am learning as a parent is that letting go is a process. Although a child may have physically moved out of the home, there is still an emotional separation that has to happen.
In addition, you are navigating new waters when it comes to your relationship. You don’t stop being a parent but you definitely stop parenting.
For eight-and-a-half weeks my son was in basic training. Although I no longer had control over him, his training instructors did. In the past few days I have come to realize that deep down I found a sort of comfort in that.
Maybe it’s just me but the idea of losing all control is a bit scary. Even when you have what may be considered a “good” kid, you know there are opportunities to do the wrong thing.
My son is in the Air Force but for the next three months he is in technical school, being trained for his job. He lives on base but in a dormitory similar to a college.
He has a roommate, his own bed and desk, and a refrigerator they both share. He is “owned” by the Air Force but still has freedoms that he never experienced before.
It is a strange feeling to know that I can’t tell my son when to come back to his room, how he should spend his money and time. He can pretty much do as he pleases (again, there are definitely restrictions with him being in the military).
Physically I have adjusted to the letting go. Emotionally, well I am still working on that one.
Over the course of the past few days I have also been working on catching myself when I start to sound like a nagging parent. Now is my opportunity to be more of a friend, to listen, to share advice (when asked) and to just be there for him.
How have you handled the transition from parenting your child to being his or her friend?
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