Being in crisis or transition–or wrestling with the realities of a single parent trying to provide and care for a child can seem like something we just want to “get through” and master. I know that I used to feel like I wanted to push and shove my way through anything unpleasant and get to a place where I felt stable and secure and competent again. In reality, however, if we push and rush ourselves through life’s transitions, we miss a great deal of the good stuff and we may be forced to repeat lessons until we slow down and get them right!
Sure, all of us wants to feel like a successful expert and I think there is nothing worse than that dark, unknowing, unpredictable place we can all find ourselves in from time to time when we are thrown into a transition or major life change. Divorce, death, separation, a child’s birth, a move or relocation, new job, etc. can all be instigating events that send us into those dark, insecure places. It seems to make sense that we would want to move through that uncomfortable place as soon as possible. But, if we do push ourselves (and our child) too hard and too fast–we will miss important lessons and likely not be able to build the security that we are attempting to establish by cutting corners and rushing through.
Take it easy, take one day at a time, and while it may seem really cliché and over-said–slow down and just deal with things moment by moment. Don’t expect too much from yourself, don’t expect to know all the answers or be able to skip over parts of the grieving process. Taking the time to move through the tough times at a reasonable pace will help you to build a stronger, more secure new life and learn all the lessons you are meant to learn from the major, intense, life transitions.
Also: Let Go of Feeling Like a Victim
Behaving “As If” It is a Choice
Learning to Trust Our Own Judgement