The other day, I was out and about and I heard a harried mother threaten: “Next time, you don’t get to come with me, you’ll have to stay home with a babysitter!” She spat out the word babysitter like she was threatening shackles and chains. This got me to thinking about what a treat it was for my own kids when they “got” to have a sitter–instead of presenting it as punishment, we always viewed it as a special date when the kids would get to “play” with the sitter and get a break from Mom!
Babysitters have trouble enough establishing authority and it is a lot of pressure to put a sitter under if you have set him or her up as the “bad guy”–as a jailor who is keeping a child from doing something fun or spending time with a parent. Since sitters already do not have the same authority as a parent, it is important to create a positive environment where they will feel successful and a good relationship will blossom between the sitter and your child or children. Not only is this just good manners and good child care, you are more likely to keep sitters if you treat them well!
Even if you do choose to get a babysitter because your child misbehaves on long errands or during other activities, put a positive spin on it. If you tell the child it is because of his or her “bad behavior” you are doing several things–first, you are telling the child that he or she has that much power, so much power that he can make you give up on his or her company; secondly, you are creating that world where the babysitter is seen as punishment or someone to come in and “tame” the child. Who wants to come in to that sort of set-up? It is a recipe for disaster. I believe a parent needs to try to create a win-win-win situation–the babysitter has a good time, the child has fun and learns to work and interact with someone new, and the parent gets to do what he or she needs to without worrying how things are going at home.
Also: What You Should NOT Have a Babysitter Do
How To Treat Your Babysitter (So She’ll Want to Come Back)