From the moment your first child is born it seems that you are now started on a life of worry. You watch your child sleep and you can’t help but think what life would be like if something happened to them.
As parents we worry about everything. When you become a single parent the worry increases. Now, added to the normal worries of every parent, you are plagued with worry about how your choices are going to affect your child.
It’s normal to worry about your kids but too much worry is counterproductive. It takes you out of the enjoyment of what is happening now because you are too focused on what may happen.
When I became a single parent I became more over protective than when I was married. All the stress of being the only adult responsible for my child increased my worry. I wanted to make sure she was happy, safe and well adjusted.
I spent a lot of time worried about things that never happened and many times it caused me to miss the joy of what was actually happening.
When Hailey walked to school by herself instead of celebrating this moment of independence for my girl, I worried. What if something happened to her? This worry caused me to keep her from doing things that would have allowed Hailey to make decisions and choices that she needed to make to grow and become confident in herself.
My daughter is now a worrier. There are many situations where she is unsure of what to do, this is because I was overprotective. Hailey has not learned to trust her own instincts because I made decisions for her.
As a single parent it’s especially hard to let your children go, but you have to allow them the space to grow and learn. They will make some bad choices, not because you are a bad parent but because their capacity to think things through and see all the consequences is not yet developed. The only way to develop that ability is to use it.
Letting go is hard, but keeping our children babies doesn’t work either. When we are too overprotective our kids rebel more and grow away from us. Sometimes you have to let go in order to be close to your child.