Fussing over the past, worrying about the future—is it any wonder that we single parents can start feeling pretty stressed out! What are we going to do about that out of town business trip next month? What if that person we had the horrible date with last week calls again? Spending so much time worrying about all those things that have either already happened or have not even happened yet can really take it out of a person. Instead, working on staying in the present, and just focusing on what needs to happen today can eliminate a great deal of stress and make us more “present” parents.
I am sure you have heard that there is really no need to worry over things that have already happened—but many of us just cannot seem to help living those past events over and over again in our heads. We think about what we should have done or how we could have done things differently—or we just perseverate over things because…we can. Stop it. And, while you’re at it, let go of worrying about what might happen tomorrow or next week. A big chunk of parenting is reacting and acting in the moment—being present and attentive and dealing with our children and our families as we all are right this very moment—not how our child was last week or what he might be like when he is thirty.
Keep your check-list and schedule paired down to what absolutely needs to be done today. It will seem much more manageable than if your checklist is as long as a twelve-month calendar. I am all for the organized single parent, as you have probably learned by now—but too much can make us stressed and exhausted—AND we miss out on all the pleasures and joys of this very day.
Also: Are You Putting Pressure On Yourself with Deadlines and Expectations?
Have You Heard of the Term “Time Poverty”?