I know that not all single parent families are formed by divorce or separation, but many of us do have another parent or an “ex” out there to contend with. Emotions and history can make communication and joint decision-making tough. One way to try to keep things a bit more “functional” is to keep financial and property discussions separate from discussions about parenting and child concerns.
I think that money conversations can complicate just about any relationship and financial matters are definitely at the top of the list when it comes to stressful conversations we have with our child’s other parent. Whenever possible, we should strive to keep our discussions about money, property, and financial issues separate from our conversations about things like school, extracurricular activities, and behavior issues.
I know this is hard! We may want to consolidate our interactions with the other parent so we don’t have to talk that often, or we may only get brief opportunities to try to cover a lot. Still, if you can find away to have those financial discussions (and this goes for who’s going to pay the doctor bill and for new shoes, too) separate from discussing pick-up and drop-off times and other parenting specifics–things will likely go smoother.
Finally, it is also highly recommended that financial conversations NOT be had in front of the child or children. I know this is hard too since we may find ourselves having discussions about everything during the pick-up or drop-off times when we are making exchanges of children and stuff. But, if at all possible, those financial discussions should be between he adults and not involve the child or children. I know this sounds like a “no-brainer” but it can actually be a tough one to stick to in real life! Keeping financial discussions with the “ex” in perspective and separated from our other parenting conversations can go a long way in making for healthier interactions.
Also: Figuring Out the Best Time for Co-parenting Discussions
Thinking of the Other Parent as a Business Partner
When a Divorced Mom and Dad Don’t Agree on Parenting Issues