While the phrase “I will never understand women” is popular, as the parent of a teen I think that is less complicated than trying to understand teenagers. Their emotions can sometimes be all over the place. What was funny to them one day will suddenly cause them to break into tears the next day.
One moment they are in this great mood and the next they are suddenly sullen. It can be hard to keep up with the ever-changing emotions at times.
I think one of the most clueless people in my home is my husband. I don’t mean to say that in a cruel or demeaning way because he would be the first to admit he is clueless, especially when it comes to our teenage daughter. I can somewhat understand her rollercoaster emotions because as a woman, I go through them too.
But it’s important that as a parent of a teen we try to better understand where all of this, what can feel like “craziness,” comes from.
First of all, teenager’s brains are still developing. Some parts of the brain that are responsible for logical thinking, planning and prioritizing won’t be completely developed until they are into their 20’s.
This is why it can be hard to get through to your teen the importance of something like getting good grades or preparing for college. Having a junior in high school I have experienced those moments of him just not getting it. It can be frustrating but we have to recognize that it’s normal.
Second, teenagers are a jumble of emotions. Their hormones are out of whack and while they are separating themselves from childhood and making their way into adulthood it can be a very confusing experience for them.
Many of the struggles we face with teenagers such as rebellion, mood swings, snotty attitudes, cluelessness and a wide range of emotions are part of the growing experience. Unfortunately, too many parents take it personally or label their teen as being “bad.”
While we certainly cannot excuse outright bad behavior, as the parent of a teen we also need to know when something isn’t really that big of a deal. Will it really matter in the long run? Is this a battle worth fighting? Is this just a phase? These are questions to ask yourself as you encounter circumstances that arise with your teen.
Remember, that along with you sometimes not understanding your teen…they don’t always understand themselves. So try to understand things from their perspective.
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How to Enter Your Teen’s World