I just read an interview in the Chicago Sun-Times with Giuliana Rancic, one half of the Style Channel reality show “Giuliana & Bill.” This season of the show is incredibly personal and the couple is sharing their TTC journey with the whole world.
I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with telling people that you are trying to get pregnant. It is a personal decision based on whether you are prepared to deal with the questions and the possibility of “public” heartbreak. I didn’t realize it until after the fact, but my decision to tell our parents that we were trying to get pregnant conflicted with my desire to really surprise them with pregnancy news. Once you announce you’re trying to conceive, people just can’t help but ask (repeatedly!) “are you pregnant yet?” If you are pregnant when they ask but you’re not ready for the big reveal, you have the choice to either lie or throw your announcement plans out the window. I was working on a beautiful scrapbook that had the news plastered on the final page. I never got to use it. (I’m a terrible liar.)
If month after month hands you a big-fat-negative, the question “are you pregnant yet?” can really cut deep. Some women will want to share that pain with their family, and some women will want to deal with it alone in private. The latter should probably keep their TTC journey to themselves, otherwise they will have a difficult time coping with not becoming pregnant amidst the constant questions.
I always try to remember that pregnancy doesn’t happen right away for everyone when someone announces she is trying to conceive. I resist the urge to ask and instead I wait for the good news. I don’t want her to feel like she has to avoid me every time she gets a negative test because she knows I’ll ask. That’s just not fair.
When you are trying to get pregnant, do you tell your friends or family?