This term “Tween” is relatively new—I think it started as a marketing term for those pre-teenagers who are considered such a huge target market for everything from Mary Kate and Ashley videos to Hannah Montana concerts. But, for a parent, are there special considerations that come with parenting teens. Should they be treated like big “little kids” or more like little teenagers? For many of us who have been through it, it usually seems like a little of both…
For me, it seemed like things started getting a little kooky at the age of 9—looking back, that was when I started to see glimpses of the adolescent soon-to-be-revealed in my sweet little children. There were the first signs of eye-rolling and back-talk and wanting to be more “hip” with fashion and toys. By 11 and 12, there were days when it seemed like we were in full-blown adolescence, even though they still tended to behave like little kids at times too. I felt like I was walking a tightrope between expecting too much and expecting too little. All I knew was that my kids thought I was a necessary idiot—they needed me to facilitate their lives, but they were not very happy about it!
I think the answer to the question is that they are still little kids, but they are teenagers-in-training. We certainly cannot hold back the hands of time (or the surges of hormones) despite how much we would like to, but we also need to realize that ten years old is not the same as fourteen or fifteen. Our kids need our guidance and protection and they need to know that they may think they should be allowed to live a life with more freedom—but they really aren’t ready for it yet. I thought of it as “baby steps”—trying to balance out bits of increased freedom with bits of increased expectations for self-regulation and responsibility. After all, we do not have to subscribe to the popular belief that our children are a marketing demographic—as parents, we still have to do our best and do what we think is best for raising our kids.
Also: Tweens!