The secret to great parenting might very well be easier than you think. Hara Marano in the November/December 2004 issue of Psychology Today, offered “Un-advice for parents.” Some of this un-advice includes:
1. Are you having fun yet? If not consider chilling out. If you find that you’re not having any fun, you might be pushing your kids too hard. Schedule some fun into your day if you have to. When Tyler was a toddler, I would put on music and we would dance and have so much fun. I realized recently, that there was no reason we still couldn’t have “music time”. We listen to music all the time and he dances but we normally don’t dance together. That’s changing and I am having a blast (and burning a few calories).
2. Don’t invest more in an outcome than your child does. In other words, does your child really want to win the competition, pageant, etc. or do you want it?
3. All kids (big kids too) need time for free play; don’t over-schedule your child’s day with an endless list of activities.
4. Every bad thing that happens to your child is not the end of the world so don’t overreact. A bad grade for instance, does not signal the end of the world.
5. Kids should spend time in social settings with adults so that they learn how to become adults.
6. Each child is different. What worked for one child may not work for another. Be prepared to modify your discipline (and teaching) methods for each child.
7. Let your children find their own paths to success. If your son tells you he wants to take a year (or two) off before going to college, it should be his choice.
Marano points out that the ultimate goal of parenting and child rearing is to raise your children to become independent adults. We should teach them to learn to think for themselves and not always follow the crowd.
See also:
The TENDER Approach to Communicating With Your Kids
Giving Our Kids Our Full Attention
Words You Should Use Every Day With Your Kids