Most people go through phases in their lives, including their sex lives. Maybe we can’t keep our hands off our spouses at times, while at other times, we’re content to put lovemaking off until later. However, for some people sex is something to be avoided. Heather did an article on asexuality, which gave us some insight, and there are many other reasons why people avoid sex.
Bad experiences and even abuse are two very difficult things to deal with and may hamper one’s ability to enjoy physical intimacy. Generally, issues like these require professional assistance to improve.
There are other reasons as well. Un-fulfilling sex is one of them. While most people enjoy the aspect of physical attention, and understand that climax is not all there is to lovemaking, it can still be very frustrating to be left unsatisfied time after time. The good news is that this one should be simpler to resolve. Communication is the first step.
Your spouse may have no idea what you need or like or don’t like, if you don’t gently discuss it or show him or her. For example, if you’d like your spouse to put his arms around you, gently grasp his hands and pull his arms around you. You may have to do this more than once, or say something about it, if he doesn’t catch on right away.
Something else that gets in the way of intimate relations is our mindset. Whether it is a self-image issue, or a problem with the image you feel your spouse has of you. If your spouse nags and belittles you and then expects you to fall into his or her arms and get romantic at the end of the day, you’re probably not going to be left feeling too inspired romantically.
This seems to be especially true for women (but it is also true for some men). Most women want to be loved all day, in many ways, before our thoughts even wander toward the bedroom.
Anybody can have sex, but making love is something entirely different, and it requires loving the whole person inside and out.
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