Today, I realized that one of the most frustrating things about being the parent of a toddler has nothing to do with the toddler at all. Nor does it have anything to do with his two month old baby brother. Nope, the source of my frustration is none other than – myself. You see, I have been setting unrealistic expectations for myself and then getting mad at myself for falling short of them.
Examples are helpful, so let’s take a minute to compare what I had hoped to accomplish today with what I actually did accomplish. Keep in mind that it is just me doing these things – actually it’s me, my two and a half year old, and my two month old. The day that I had envisioned went something like this – get up, eat, drop off trash at the landfill, drop off donations at the thrift store, get gas for the lawnmower, go home and get baby settled in for a nap, take baby monitor (set to vibrate) and toddler (in back carrier) outside and mow the lawn, eat lunch, go for a walk with the kids, play outside, go to town again for three other errands, make and eat dinner, read books with toddler and help him fall asleep, wash dishes, write four blog posts, and work on another writing project for at least an hour.
What actually happened today? We ate breakfast and then played outside for about an hour before going to town. We got gas for the lawn mower and dropped off things at the thrift store but I forgot to put the trash in the car, let alone take it to the landfill. Once we got home, I settled the baby down for a nap. I took the baby monitor and Dylan in his back carrier (he was excited about it at this point) and started to mow the lawn. I made it once around the perimeter of the lawn. Why did I only make it around once? The novelty of riding in the back carrier while mom mowed the lawn wore off and Dylan was not having another minute of it. We all ate lunch and played some more. After a nap fake-out, we went for a walk. Upon returning home, there was another nap/bedtime fake-out before I made dinner. We ate dinner, watched a movie, and went upstairs for books and bedtime. After Dylan was asleep, I took a bath and bathed the baby. Now, the baby is snoozing in my lap and I am writing the blog posts. The dishes are still not washed.
Should I feel good about my day? If I were still thinking the way that I was yesterday, I would not. After all, I only accomplished a fraction of what I had set out to do. Today I choose to think differently. I choose to remember it as a good day because everyone was, at all times, sufficiently fed, in clean clothes and clean diapers, and for the most part happy. I hope that tomorrow I remember to keep my expectations realistic and to not be so hard on myself if some of the things on my to do list do not get done.