Extremes always make the news. Sadly, when an extreme becomes a representation of an idea false assumptions and prejudices occur. It happens most often on hot of taboo topics with homeschooling be one of those topics. To non- homeschoolers, homeschooling by itself looks to be an extreme. Often those most vocal about it represent one extreme or another be that religious or unschooling. If one has difficulty wrapping her mind around homeschooling then you can imagine how much more difficult that would be for unschooling. If truth be told, not even many homeschoolers understand unschooling. Unschooling does not represent homeschooling anymore than Baptists represents religion. Within unschooling there are also degrees. Much the same as within the Baptist community there are Southern Baptists, Independent Baptists, etc.
Recently, in Friday Magazine, an family was featured that went against the social norms. They are unschoolers but more than that they hold to an extreme parenting style that allows them to give total freedom to their children. Dayna and Joe Martin have four children who are allowed to make every decision for themselves from what to eat to when to go to bed. The children are not in a school system and they are not made to study at home. In fact, the mom stated that if her children watched TV all day, she would take no issue with it. Her oldest child does not go to bed until 4am on most nights and gets up at 2pm on most days. The parents believe in treating their children like adults. So there are no chores, no punishments, no curfews, no bedtimes, no exams, basically no rules of any kind. They pick their own clothes and what they want to eat even if it was ice cream for breakfast. The children do not appear to be limited in exposure to the world or have a lack of social interaction. They also do not appear to be unruly or eating gummi bears all day.
Personally, I find this method of parenting not a method at all because I do not see parenting in this equation. It is a lack of parenting. I believe a fear of parenting stemming from a fear of conflict and deep scars of their own childhood. As a Christian, it does not line up with my belief system. I also do not understand how a child learns respect for authority or how to follow the rules in college or the workplace. Yet, in their defense, it does not appear the children are defiant or lack a respect for others. I also do not believe this is the best representation of unschooling. As a friend stated, it is unparenting.
What are your thoughts?