I thought I would update you on my quest to decrease some of Tyler’s bad behaviors by ignoring them (see my previous blog). For the first person who noted that when a parent ignores bad behaviors they well worsen before they get better– you were dead on the money.
Yesterday and this morning I decided to put my plan in action and I could see right away that Tyler was definitely trying his best to get me to respond. I was hoping that he kept his pajamas on so that I could let him go to school that way! He didn’t though, in fact he got dressed in a timely manner but then he turned around and pulled his tucked-in shirt out and pulled it over his head! And to make sure that I saw him he goes and stands right dab in front of me. I politely went into the bathroom, closed the door and screamed silently.
When I returned, the shirt was tucked back in but there he was, I kid you not, on the floor attempting to bring the fine art of break dancing into the 21st Century. I stepped right over him and sat down until it was time to go. And to make it clear that I was going to ignore him, I closed my eyes.
I think the biggest challenge for me is that he craves my attention constantly and it’s really hard to ignore him ALL THE TIME. But I am determined to stay the course. I have a new mantra and that’s, “remember, he’s gifted.”
Kids who are gifted display some of the same misbehaviors that kids with ADD and ADHD do. In fact, many of these behaviors stop them from getting into programs designed for the gifted. On Tuesday, his teacher told me that she’s recommending him for the gifted program. It will be for next year though since they start with first grade and not kindergarten. We will probably have returned to New Orleans by that time but her recommendation will accompany him there. She also told me she’s not sure he will make it in a regular public school, even within a gifted class. Her recommendation is to get him into a special school where all the kids are gifted. I like that idea, I certainly want him to be challenged and for him to reach his potential but I have to admit, I have my doubts that he will make it if he does not calm down some.
So over the next few months I will strive to choose my battles and ignore the rest. Hopefully, he will become less motivated to act out and realize that he can still get my attention in more constructive ways.