The next asset that we will examine in this series is concerned with ensuring that children are given useful roles. Children feel good when parents involve them in family life in age appropriate ways.
Young children can help with easy chores such as a two year old collecting napkins and placing them in the trash after a family meal. Older toddlers can help to clean up heir toys. Preschoolers can make a homemade card for a relative’s birthday.
Elementary age children love to be in charge of something. It is very empowering to them. Let them decide what they want for dinner one night or choose a game they would like to play as a family. Ask them what time they think you should leave home to make it to church or the store at a particular time. Engage them in helping to plan special projects such as your family vacation, or decorating their room. This asset is not all about getting children to do chores (although that does have value in and of itself), but empowering each child so that he or she knows that they occupy an essential role in their family.
Older children should have useful roles in the community as well. This could be as a volunteer with a parent at a homeless shelter, church or other need based organization. A teenager could hold a summertime job. Teenagers can help elderly neighbors by shoveling her walk or mowing his lawn occasionally.
Older children should have a decision-making role within the family. Just last night my children wanted to play a card game with me that I really do not care for. At first, I squirmed and suggested an alternative game that I enjoy more. They had their hearts set on this particular game, so I conceded and said, ok “I will play it because what you want to do is important to me”. They were both very pleased to hear that, and proceeded to beat me every hand we played! I don’t always allow them to choose-some nights I choose what we play, so that they can understand that other people’s wants and needs are important too.