When it comes to single parent families, we do not always see our families reflected back at us from the media, our children’s school books and papers, or from things that other people say about “family.” While our society seems to be getting more single-parent family-friendly, our kids can still face some insensitivity around their own family scene. As parents and adults, we can use sensitivity ourselves and model it for others.
Sensitivity means that we acknowledge and expect that not everyone has a two-parents in the home sort of family. For kids who have “different” families, even ordinary and seemingly harmless comments and assumptions can have a negative effect. For example, using the word “parent” instead of assuming “mom and/or dad” can show some sensitivity. As can avoiding making any sort of assumptions about what family life must certainly be like for a child. Asking if a child does something with “mom” only to find out that mom is deceased can be quite insensitive. Even something as simple as “Be sure to ask your mom” can open up wounds for a child who has lost one or whose parents are divorced or separated.
Of course, eventually our children learn to have some confidence and a certain amount of comfort around their single parent family status, but that can take some time. The smaller the child, or the more recent the changes in the family, the more likely it is that sensitivity can be in order. Consider things like birthday party invitations, end-of-season sports parties, or simple conversations and how you can be more sensitive and aware of differences. Besides, learning how to be sensitive and modeling it for other adults can be a way of creating understanding and appreciation for diversity for all sorts of children and families—not just those who are living in single parent families.
Also: Watch Using the Term “Dead Beat” In Front of Your Kids