Using charts and contracts is a good way to help your child achieve a goal. In the book, Common Sense Parenting, the authors offer tips on how to write a contract and how to use contracts.
Simply put, a contract is a written statement of what your child agrees to do and what will happen if he or she accomplishes that goal. A chart is a visual representation used to help keep track of the agreement.
Some examples of goals you might want your child to reach include, keeping their bedroom clean, doing their homework and coming home on time. Your child might have as their goal having friends over, staying out later and using the car. You might make an agreement that if your child keeps his room clean for a week then he can have friends over. Both the child and the parent get what they want, providing the child keeps his end of the bargain.
The authors point out that charts and contacts should be simple, straightforward and geared toward helping parents and children make improvements and get things accomplished. Other benefits of charts and contracts include increasing more opportunities for success, improving self-esteem and improving communication between parent and child.
Charts and contracts should be used when you want to focus on a particular problem or behavior not for ongoing day-day-to problems that kids present. For these problems, corrective teacher or teaching self-control should be the focus. You should also use charts and contracts when your child has a goal they would like to achieve or when you have a particular goal you’d like your child to achieve.
To get started, write down a few things you would like your child to do and also have them write down three things they would like to do. For younger kids you can write down their answers. Once you have your lists then you are ready to write the contract and get on with the business of reaching goals.
Now that you have your lists in hand it’s time to move on to writing the contract. The basic steps are:
(1) Identify both your goals and your child’s goals. Your goal might be to make your child more responsible by coming home on time. Your child’s goal might be to have a later curfew.
(2) In step two, you would write what you want your child to do. Using the example above, you might want your child to come home each day at a certain time for two weeks.
(3) In step three, you write down what your child wants. In this case, your child might want to move the weekend curfew back an hour.
(4) In this step you set a time limit. You then pick a specific time each evening when you and your child review their progress. This would continue for two weeks or until the contract is renegotiated.
(5) Finally, you date and sign the contract making the contract in effect and showing that both parties feel the contract is fair.
And that’s it. Simple, yet effective.
See also:
Teaching Teens About Committments To Contracts