Yesterday in Using Compromise with a Toddler, I talked about how compromise can be a great form of discipline with your child. I talked about one type of compromise and gave a specific example that happened to occur in our household earlier this week. Now, let’s talk a little more about the art of compromise.
Compromise is so important not only to help you avoid tantrums and maintain a peaceful relationship with your toddler, but it also can be a learning tool. Your toddler will learn from a very early age how important the skill of compromise is in life. She will also build up confidence in herself as a person and in you as a teacher and guide.
The last bit about compromise talked about giving in the small battles to win the big ones. This time, I’ll talk about how you can arrange it to make it look to your toddler that he is winning the battle while all the time you are still in control on the important issue.
Let’s say that your toddler is refusing to eat all of her lunch. You know that she will be hungry later, so you are ready for a battle of pleading, cajoling and maybe even raising your voice. If the goal is to get that entire lunch consumed, could you compromise by letting her eat some of her lunch now and finish the rest later? Could you switch her plate or serve each item on a separate plate? Sometimes just letting a toddler make a choice and get her way on one thing can diffuse the situation.
My daughter went through a phase where she just wanted to wear her princess snow boots, no matter the weather or the occasion. we compromised by allowing her to wear the boots whenever she wished with the exception of church or a more dress up occasion. If the boots were inappropriate, we would allow her to wear them in the car on the way to the event if she changed them when we arrived.
One important thing to note here is that of course you must use judgement when compromising with a toddler. Some things are non-negotiable, and these things should be distinguished early. For example biting or hitting is never a candidate for compromise.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, technology in the Computing Blog, and creating a home in the Home Blog. Starting June 1st, don’t miss her articles in the Baby Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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Using Compromise with a Toddler