Who says parents have to come up with all the good ideas? Or why is it that parents have to be the ones who think up all the consequences and problem-solving in a family? Encouraging kids to come up with solutions to problems and offer ideas to help solve family concerns is an important way to build family unity, but it also encourages the development of problem-solving skills.
You might be surprised at how good kids can get at helping to solve family problems. Plus, I believe that being involved on the problem-solving side of things further helps kids develop an understanding of cause and effect or action and consequence. In order to come up with work-able solutions, they need to be able to look at each part of the problem and see how things all fit together. For example, say you are having a problem with people leaving their dishes piled in the sink. When you pose the problem to the family and share your concerns and ask for a solution, you might start out hearing stuff like “I don’t care if the kitchen is clean.” As you discuss and explain that it can take longer to get dinner on the table if the kitchen is messy and the sink is full of dishes, or come up with incentives for getting people to rinse their dishes and put them in the dishwasher, kids can help come up with those incentives or offer ideas for motivating change.
If kids’ ideas are taking seriously and treated with genuine respect, they are more likely to take interest and pride in helping to solve problems instead of just creating them. For a parent, instead of just jumping in with our ideas and conclusions, we can try putting more of them to the family for discussion and problem-solving. I think we can still remain the authority, while encouraging kids to think about how to solve many of the issues and problems that pop up in family life.
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