Recently I looked at the question of whether one should stay in a situation of abuse, even verbal abuse. But what do you think about when the term verbal abuse comes to mind? What constitutes verbal abuse?
For some people I know it has been a husband who yells at them and makes them feel worthless and small by their derogatory comments. They are made to feel nothing they do is right and they are virtually a waste of space. Verbal abuse shows the other person has little or no regard for the feelings of their spouse.
Even if these things are said in the heat of an argument, it is no excuse. Once words are out, they cannot be taken back. An apology doesn’t take away the pain of those words.
Verbal abuse often would include raised voices and yelling and comments that put the other person down, but I’d like to suggest that maybe there is another form of verbal abuse – nagging.
We’ve all heard the jokes about nagging wives and husbands who switch off. It’s not funny. It’s true. Nagging rarely achieves anything because the other person simply doesn’t listen, so all the nagger is doing is talking to thin air.
Why does the person being nagged switch off? I’d suggest they withdraw for self preservation. They’re sick of hearing the same old tirade time after time. They’re sick of being told what to do and when and how to do it and that even when they do, it is not right anyway.
Can you blame anyone for switching off? If I was in that position, I would too. Why would anyone want to listen to being told everything they do is wrong?
Deep down I think the nagger knows nothing will change either, which makes you wonder about the point of nagging? It’s just a fruitless exercise that makes neither person happy and when it all comes down to it is nothing more than another form of verbal abuse.
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