We just recently found out that a group of family members are taking the 1000 mile journey to come and visit my wife and I prior to the birth of our son. My mother, sister, brother and brother-in-law are, as a write this, locked together in a van (along with our child’s dresser, rails for his crib, and a bed frame for us), and hopefully having good conversation and a safe trip (though I imagine my brothers are sleeping).
What makes the weekend even more special is that my birthday will occur over the coming weekend. The opportunity to spend the anniversary of my birth with some family members, particularly my mother, is a great opportunity to (hopefully) gain some insight into the concept of parenthood. When my son is my age my wife and I will be my mother’s age. While this is a simple mathematical concept it is a concept I find myself more at odds with as the years of my own life continue to fly by.
I find myself trying to heed the wisdom freely offered by elders throughout my life. While it does seem to take eons to progress from childhood to adulthood (I’m still not certain I’ve made the transition yet) from the perspective of an adult the years do have a way of flying by. The added physical marker of a child’s quick progression from birth through teeth, steps, and speaking will only serve, I infer, to make those years seem to fly by at a much faster rate.
So, this weekend will be our last with some family members without a son visibly growing, learning, and progressing in plain sight… though he has certainly been doing those things less visibly in my wife. As a new school year begins (I’m still a student) and I experience new artworks, performances, social and political issues I wonder how my responses will change and alter. As one grows up they begin to see the world differently and perceive the same things from other perspectives. How will fatherhood change me? How has it already? The future is already brighter and more important to me because of my child. I imagine that the present will matter a great deal more when I hold him in my arms.
How have you changed as a person by becoming a parent?