This is thankfully an area I’m no expert in. Divorce can be such a sensitive topic so I want to approach it with care.
Our vows to our spouse probably included some of the following: To love and to cherish, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. According to Dan Hurley of The New York Times, divorce rates aren’t completely accurate and actually seem to be on a decline which is good news.
Jesus clarifies divorce for us in Matthew 5:31-32, “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ but I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” I believe the reason behind this is, if a man divorces his wife and she hasn’t betrayed the marriage by an affair, there isn’t a true ground for divorce, and that’s why it would cause her to be an adulteress should she remarry.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 tells us too, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”
I Corinthians 7:12-15 states the following for those who’ve married unbelievers, “But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”
I’m sure you are now wondering about the 3-A’s which are Adultery, Addiction and Abuse. These are socially acceptable reasons for divorce. First off, it is my own opinion that God does not want to see us or our children endure abuse to a degree that we are unsafe. The choice to leave your spouse to protect yourself and/or your children is one most often made with great care and really between you and God. We ought to be careful when looking at these 3-A’s. How many vow to love their spouse in sickness and in health? Is addiction, for example, not a sickness? What about abuse? The bible does name abandonment in 1 Corinthians 7:15 stating one is not under bondage to the marriage in such cases. Some take this to mean emotional abandonment as well as physical. I suppose any of the 3-A’s can fall under emotional abandonment. I really believe if someone is to divorce for any of these reasons, it should be done with much prayer. Malachi 2:16 tells us that God hates divorce.
Marriage should never be viewed as disposable. The “D” word was considered a curse word in our family growing up and it is in my current home as well. When you marry, you are making a covenant with your spouse by your vows. Before someone gets married I hope and pray they consider their vows. Marriage isn’t an event; it’s a life long commitment that should never be taken lightly. The Bible gives us many examples of how to be toward our husband or wife. By following in prayer and in fellowship with your spouse, statistically you have a pretty high likelihood of a happy, successful and fulfilling marriage.
Scripture references are quoted from the NKJV.
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