When a mother gives birth to a baby girl, there is potential for a tremendously strong bond to develop. Having a female child allows a mother to re-experience her own growing-up process, this time though the eyes of an adult. We mothers can see first hand the joy our children of both genders experience as they explore the world and gradually take charge of their own lives.
But the mother-daughter bond is different. We can so clearly see ourselves in our own daughter as she grows up: playing girl-orientated games, choosing clothes, playing at being grown-ups, wearing your shoes, using your making, making cupcakes of their own. It’s almost like being able to step back in time and watch yourself at that age.
When puberty hits, this intense bonds often changes dramatically. This is a perfectly natural occurrence, but that does not mean that it is going to be easy! In fact, successfully making the transition through the adolescent years to form a close adult-adult bond with your daughter is one of the many challenges a woman faces in her role as a mother.
The best way to ensure a successful transition from a mother-child to an adult-adult relationship is to develop a very close and supportive bond with your daughter right from childhood. Although this does not guarantee an easy ride through the teenage years, it does provide an enduring base from which to work.
Yet despite the best of intentions, the adolescent years can still be fraught with problems. We as mothers need to realize that all relationships have their ups and downs, and just because we once shared the closest of biological bonds, doesn’t mean we have produced a clone of ourselves and that all will, or must, go smoothly. But the challenges we do face as mothers of daughters can be positive ones, allowing us to get to know each other better, and in turn, be taught new ideas by our own daughters. This is how the process of life is meant to be.
Next article, we will explore ways to make the journey through adolescence as smooth as possible.
Contact Beth McHugh for further assistance regarding this issue.
Walking the Mother-Daughter Tightrope(2)
Walking the Mother-Daughter Tightrope(3)
Walking the Mother-Daughter Tightrope(4)