When I was a teenager, I knew everything (of course) and as I got older, I think I outgrew my knowledge of the secrets of the universe. Or maybe it’s just that my universe expanded so I had a much greater understanding of a very small portion of that universe and only a little understanding of the much greater universe that opened up.
That being said, there’s a lot of advice we get from movies, books and other teenage angst moments that are supposed to serve as our advice barometer for the future. As a nod to these days of teenage angst, understanding and of course knowledge of the secret inner workings of the universe.
A Grain of Salt
The following advice should be taken with a grain of salt – okay, make that a pound of salt – and while most of this advice is patently not true – it takes really looking at it to realize how wrong the reasoning is associated with the following advice. If you are wondering why I am devoting an entire blog to bad advice – well let’s just say that when you see down there you remember all the reasons why it’s bad and it inspires you to think of the more positive advice you’ve received in your life.
So without further ado, here are all the wrong reasons you should plan to get married:
- You want to get out of your parents house. If you want to get out of your parents house, you should get a job, save up some money and get an apartment of your own. Trading your parents for a spouse is not really trading up and your spouse is not going to appreciate the distinction.
- You really want to have sex. While it is applaudable to wait until you are married or at least fully committed to a long-term relationship before having sex, getting married to just be able to have sex is really not the greatest piece of advice. Sex may make up a percentage of a healthy relationship but if the rest of the relationship is shoddy – there’s no amount of sex that is worth it.
- You are pregnant. Okay, don’t stone me. But I’ve seen too many couples who elected to get married because the line turned pink on the test and they were told it was the right thing to do. Adding a forced marriage to an unplanned pregnancy does not make any situation right. In fact, it’s just increasing 2 wrongs.
- You want to grow up and be an adult. Marriage does not make you an adult. Marriage does not help you grow up. In fact, marriage makes you miserable if you are not an adult and grown up beforehand.
There are plenty of other reasons, but these are some of the biggest ones that stand out in my mind. Few marriages launched on these reasons survive – that’s not to say that there are not exceptions to every rule and for those exceptions, I do so soundly applaud.
What other bad advice have you heard over the years with regard to marriage?