Would you like to feel treasured and special? Don’t you think your spouse would like to feel treasured and special and glad they married you? Perhaps you could try this way to make it happen. Put your spouse first.
Excuse me? I can hear some people say. How does that help me and make me feel treasured and special? Let me explain.
‘In some couples each person puts the other first’ this was an observation by the Katie, a child observer of Mr. and Mrs. Randolph in the novel True to Form by Elizabeth Berg. Yes, it is a novel but to me this speaks of the essence of what marriage is all about and the way a marriage should work. If each of us puts the other person and their interests first, then both people end up feeling treasured and special. Isn’t that we what we want our spouse to feel? Isn’t that also how we would like to feel? We want to feel we are treasured and special to them.
Novels reflect real life and this one does. It shows clearly once again, as both Mary Ann and I have mentioned in previous blogs, that children observe others especially their parents but other marriages and relationships as well. In this way they are building up a picture of the way marriages and relationships work.
Recently I was toying with the idea of going to a poetry workshop. Poetry has tended to be pushed aside recently for fiction, book reviews and article writing. As I talked with Mick he said, ‘You should book in. Go and do it now.’
Okay, I didn’t go right that instant but I did do it soon after. I had a great time on Wednesday at the workshop. You see, Mick knew what was important to me and encouraged me to do something about it.
He also showed his support by coming along, not to the workshop itself as poetry is not his thing. Instead he went and did some shopping and a lot of browsing, so that I had company on the hour long trip there and back. When I got back in the car after the workshop he listened and enjoyed my stories of the people who attended and what happened. That’s one partner showing support for the other an encouraging them and putting them first.
When he is interested in something, I show the same attention to what he’s doing. Just listening to your spouse and encouraging them in their pursuits and dreams are ways of making your spouse feel treasured and special. That is what marriage is all about – putting the other person first.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words