As parents, we have to say “no”—we have to set limits and boundaries and let our children know what can and cannot be done. This does NOT mean that we have to be negative. It may seem a little strange, but I do believe that we can set strong limits and boundaries with our kids and still be positive. In fact, I think it takes a lot of extra energy to be negative and when we react negatively to things going on with our children and our families, we are not only wasting energy, but also teaching our children how to be negative too.
There is a big difference between: “Please stop doing that” and “Why do you have to be so stupid?” There is also a big difference between a simple, calm “no” and one that is fraught with judgment and negativity. It takes so much more valuable energy to be negative. I know this can seem a little strange, but it is true. Just think of how different your body feels when you make a simple statement than when you are wrought with negative emotion. Why spread that negativity to our children and our families?
As parents, we have our children’s education in our hands, but we also have their psyches, their emotional development and other things under our influence. Snapping, snarking and barking at our kids seldom makes them feel better about themselves and it definitely does not help them understand why we would like them to modify their behavior. Negativity really just breeds negativity and it sucks the energy and life out of us at the same time. Conserve energy and drop the negative responses—being calm or positive takes a lot less out of us and it tends to add to the quality of life for us and our children.