We single parents know quite well how important it is to have a support system around us. We may also get used to sharing our family problems with others and getting suggestions and advice. I do think it is important, however, to keep in mind just where we are going for advice and to whom we are turning; the folks we include in our “inner circle” or support system should be people we can trust and who have a favorable opinion about our efforts as single parents.
Surely we all know those people who tend to talk about all their personal business over the water cooler at work or with strangers on the bus. This is probably more about their need to talk, communicate and connect that whether or not they actually want advice and responses back. As single parents, we might be so starved to talk about what is going in our family scene with another adult that we don’t exactly choose wisely who to share our personal business with. While talking things out and gathering suggestions can be a really good thing—having everyone at work know our children’s private issues or the details of our custody arrangements might NOT be the best thing.
I know that for many of us, we work so much that work seems to be the natural place to look for confidents and support and I can honestly say that I have made some of my best friends at work, but I also think that healthy boundaries are important. We can take our time in making and building and friendships and make sure that someone is really supportive and good for us when it comes to asking for advice about our single parent status and our family problems and issues. I am not suggesting that we keep our family situations sequestered and secret, just that as single parents we put some care in choosing who are most trusted advisors are.
Also: Gather What You Need to Make Your Own Decisions