Many of us grew up with the idea that certain toys and activities were only for one gender of child. There were toys for girls, and toys for boys, and our parents may have steered us towards one or the other. Today, things are very different. Now is a good time to practice gender neutral parenting.
When I was a little kid, I was taught that girls were supposed to play with dolls and enjoy kitchen sets and playing dress up. The boys in my kindergarten were taught that boys were supposed to play with trucks and blocks.
Today, things are changing. We don’t raise our daughters with the idea that they can only do “women’s jobs” when they grow up. Women can do anything men can do. Kids today are growing up in a world where women can be secretaries or CEOs and where men can be mechanics or stay-at-home dads.
Toy manufacturers are realizing that both girls and boys want to play with their toys. It doesn’t make sense anymore to limit kids to only the toys that previous generations would think matched the child’s gender.
Your daughter who plays with LEGOs might grow up to be an architect or engineer. Your son who plays with baby dolls might grow up to be an awesome dad or pediatrician. Be encouraging. Parents today need to practice gender neutral parenting. One great way to start is to forget about the idea that some toys are for boys and others are for girls. Toys are for kids – all kids!
Annie Flavin wrote an article for Huffington Post called Ask Her More. In it, she notes that the questions she asks her daughter when she plays dress up, and the questions she asks her son when he plays dress up, were different. She (and sometimes other adults) would ask her daughter about her dress. But, they would ask her son, who was wearing a superhero costume, about his superpowers and abilities.
When your daughter dresses up as Elsa, ask her more than if she thinks her dress is pretty. Ask her what she/Elsa can do. You probably wouldn’t ask your son, who is dressed up as Thor, if he thought his armor was pretty, right? Instead, you might ask him about the adventure he was on. Questions that focus on ability, imagination, and activity are the way to go.
What if your son wants to dress up as Elsa and your daughter wants to dress as Thor? Let them. There is something about that character that your child relates to. He or she wants to be strong, powerful, and able to make things happen. Ask your kids about their adventure, not their outfits.
Image by Sallie the Cape Lady on Flickr.
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