I have mentioned before that I have no idea what I would be like as a person if I hadn’t become a parent, and, especially, spent so many years as a single parent. I think my experiences are integral to the person I have become. Single parenthood has been an amazing gift and one of the lessons I’ve learned is that while I have been called to take on the responsibility of being my children’s parent, and I am in the role of guide or teacher, I am as much a student of this “family life” process as they are!
Perhaps because my kids and I have become so bonded due to the make up or dynamic of our family, I have become more aware that they are teaching me about all sorts of things as much as I am teaching them. Since I am the only adult (or have been so far) in our little household, I cannot always be the “teacher” and there is not anyone to step in as back-up. This means that there are less built-in barriers between my children and myself and plenty of life lessons that we seem to learn together. Even with healthy boundaries and a mom who is determined to stay in charge, my children have stepped up to “school” me on more than one occasion, often without even realizing it!
For me, it has been liberating and stress-reducing to realize that I don’t always have to be the wise teacher as a single mom—it is nice knowing that there are larger and more powerful forces than me at work here and I know that my kids’ self-esteem has been bolstered by the increased role they have played in our family. We often try to remind ourselves that “we’re all in this together” and that means that anyone can be teacher…and anyone can be the learner…at any time!
Also: How Far Can You Really Stretch, Before You Break?
Why We Can’t Do It All, Even If We Want To