I currently live in a land of opinions and opinionated teenagers. If there is one thing you can say about teenagers it is that they are very open with their developing ideas and opinions on things. While my kids used to say things like “We think this, don’t we mom?” when they were pleasing little grade-schoolers, now they are much more likely to share opinions and ideas that are in complete opposition of my own opinions and belief systems. Sometimes, of course, they are trying to get a “rise” out of me, but other times they are just working out their own theories and opinions. The trick for me, however, is learning that I do not have to get sucked in and react.
We want our children to be able to think for themselves, but it always easy to hear their ideas and opinions when they oppose our own. Not to mention, my days of enjoying heated debates and discussions are waning. I remember being a young adult (and a teenager myself) and really enjoying rousing debates about politics, religion, world events, you name it—now, while I am definitely open to new ideas, I don’t really want to battle it out with a black-and-white-thinking teenager!
I am finding that if I don’t take things personally and I accept that my children are on the road to adulthood and this means being able to work out their own opinions on things, I do a better job of not reacting. Just because they say something annoying or something I don’t agree with today, does not mean they will have the same opinion next week, next year, or when they turn twenty-one. As I’ve mentioned before, it comes down to trusting the process and allowing them the freedom to explore and express themselves—and not let ourselves get sucked into getting bothered and reacting (I know, much easier said than done!)
Also: The Role of Adaptation in Parenting
They Have to Learn to Make Decisions