So after we came out of the shock of the business aspect of adoption, and it is a huge business, we finally found the type of agency we were looking for. The agency we used was Homes of Saint Mark located in Houston. We live in Dallas and Houston is about 4 hours away but they did not treat it like a way to make money.
Homes of Saint Mark placed infants that were given up, they placed children from CPS, they also matched birth moms who want to give their babies up through private adoption. We thought we were finally making some progress. We found out that because my husband had been married before we could not be put in for any children until our 3rd anniversary. That turned out to be a good thing, it gave us time to get a house, and do all the paperwork necessary to do adoption.
Like I said the process to adopt is harder than buying a house or basically anything else. They want to know everything about you. When you decide to adopt you are also making the decision to have your life examined under a microscope.
First you have to fill out the application, which was a small book by itself. They need to know everything from where you met your spouse, to what all your co-workers think of you. They need about 5 personal references (who they will contact) to see what that person thinks your capabilities of being a good parent are. These references have to tell them how long they have known you, your good and bad qualities, and how secure they feel you are in your marriage. Be very careful by who you choose to list as references a slightly bad reference letter can stop the adoption process in its tracks.
There are financial questions, questions about what you have to offer a child and/or children, what traditions you want your family to participate in. If they had every mom do these before they got pregnant maybe there would be less children up for adoption and in foster care.
Once you have done the initial application the fun really begins.