Most of us expect that we will see things differently from our spouses or close friends and family, but for some reason, we assume that our children will have perspectives much closer to ours. Perhaps it is that we think we will be able to shape them from the early formative years, or perhaps it is because there are times when it really does seem like we are so similar and symbiotic. But the truth is—we are different people and we really will not always see things in the same way or the have the same approaches to things.
It may seem like an obvious no-brainer, but I do think it warrants reminding. Even rather young children have their own way of looking at the world and it may be very, very different from mom’s and dad’s way of seeing things. For example, I might look outside and see a grey, wet, rainy day but my son sees a day with perfect weather. He loves the rain and has forever—there is nothing he enjoys more than a long walk through the wet puddles or a muddy bike ride. While he may change as he gets older, I have to think that this is just his preferences and temperament coming through and they have absolutely nothing to do with mine.
We might see school as a fun opportunity for learning, our child sees it as a restrictive prison. It isn’t just about personal tastes and interests, but our children really do see the world through completely different glasses than we do. Over time, we can develop the skills to help our children learn how to compromise, but we will likely do just as much compromising as parents. We have to be able to see things as much as possible from their point of view since they might not be able to see them from ours.
Also: Teaching Kids to Calm Themselves
Making Room for Those Who Don’t Multi-Task
Can You Really Make Them Do Things They Don’t Want to Do?