We know that we cannot be perfect. I do not know of a single parent who is striving for absolutely perfection (or who will admit to it), but I also know that we can spend a lot of time feeling like we are bumping around in the dark or bumbling along and that is definitely no fun. Part of achieving a sense of peace and happiness in our lives to feel a sense of competency too—whether it is in our parenting, our work, or other areas of our lives. We all need to feel a certain degree of competency.
While competency can come with experience and education, some of us may be feeling incompetent for the wrong reasons—there has been someone in our lives who told us we were horrible parents or a bad worker, or we have somehow been led to believe that we don’t know what we are doing. OR, we might feel as though since we have struggled in some areas of our lives, we are big failures all around. None of these have to be true. Perhaps feeling competent in our parenting and in other areas of lives can be remedied if we just allow ourselves to quiet all those other voices and believe in ourselves?
Get people around you who say nice, encouraging things about your role as a single parent and start giving yourself affirmations. Celebrate those things that are going well and that allow you to feel a sense of accomplishment and start taking credit for the things that are going well. I am not advocating letting your ego run away with your sense of self-worth, but more of a self-appreciation of what you do know and what you are doing well. A sense of accomplishment and competency can be at the basis of a healthy and strong self-esteem.