We go through different seasons in our marriages. Some of them are pretty enjoyable, like the carefree days of summer or the excitement of new things in the spring.
But then we also go through seasons where it gets a little more challenging. Here in Wisconsin fall can sometimes feel more like winter and then the snowstorms come and well, it’s kind of bleak and barren. Those are the most difficult times in a marriage.
I really, really dislike the unpleasant seasons of marriage. They seem so long; once again I have to compare it to the winters we experience here in Wisconsin. It seems like it will never get warm again.
One of the worst years of our marriage was in 2004. That year sticks out to me like a sore thumb. I think the only reason I call it one of our worst years is because we had so much on our plate. We have had much more trying circumstances but this was just one of those years where every important area of our life was affected.
Within just nine months we went through putting all three of our children into public school (a much bigger deal for my oldest who first went in at 5th grade), having our home broken into, putting our house up for sale, my husband getting a job transfer that required an hour long commute, moving into a new house one week before Christmas, my daughter getting lice, me getting lice and owning two homes for six months putting us in a real financial predicament.
Let me tell you our marriage was tested. There were so many emotions involved in all of these circumstances. I tend to be much more obvious in my emotions while I used to take my husband’s lack of emotion as unfeeling. Oh, I have learned so much about that man over the years.
But my point is that almost all of us either have or will yet experience a season in our marriage when we think we are at our breaking point. I didn’t see how I could survive our marriage.
My emotions were in overdrive as I was struggling with putting my children in school, my husband was never home because of the job transfer, we had to move our entire household into a new one during the snowiest season of the year, I was traumatized by the lice that were brought into our home and we had no money.
We not only didn’t get along with each other but I think we couldn’t stand each other. Yet when I look back, I see how that was a real growing experience for me as a person and us as a couple. When you weather storms like that and a new one comes along you can say, “Ha! I’ve been through worse” and face it head on with new enthusiasm and vigor.
No matter what season you are in, it will pass. It may seem like forever and you may wonder if you will ever make it but let me assure you that spring really does come.
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