When the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America committed to exploring strategies for ministry to different ethnic groups, a group of adoptive parents and adoptees saw an opportunity to educate faith communities about adoption and provide resources to help families connect their adoption experiences with spiritual issues.
Interested Christians of several denominations and ethnicities gathered in Seattle in the fall of 2002 to share ideas. The result was the book Weaving God’s Love Across Cultures: Transracial Adoption and Faith, edited by Rev. Mary Lindberg, containing contributions by adoptive parents, teen and adult adoptees, clergy, social workers and even a Korean birthmother.
The book contains several sections which can feel a bit disjointed from one another, although the writers’ spiritual perspective is the common denominator. Some sections draw explicit religious connections; a few chapters are more general information about issues facing birthparents, adoptive parents and adoptees.
The book opens with a Korean adoptee, now a pastor, sharing her reflections on the parallels she sees between Moses’ story and her own. This is followed by a presentation of Bible verses or stories with adoption-related themes. One of the most moving reflections of the book is by a mother of six, four of them transracial adoptees, as she talks about visiting one son in a juvenile justice facility. During the security screening, she was struck by the image of each of the seven family members holding out their arms in a cross as they were screened by the metal detecting wand. She also meditated on the fact that all five siblings, “whom he had violated by theft, verbal abuse and anger, now came to share a meal with their beloved and prodigal brother…our bonds had been stretched but not broken.”
Two articles discuss how family rituals, such as blessings, mealtime and holiday traditions can built a sense of family unity and security in parents and children. There is an article on helping children talk about their feelings and a list of Scripture quotations addressing issues such as loss and grief. There are sample rituals of blessing for congregational services for three occasions: a blessing of parents leaving for another state or country to receive their child, a blessing of the family when the parents return with the child, and prayers for a formal ceremony such as a christening or dedication.
There are articles on how congregations can become more welcoming to multiracial families, and an article by a pastor from India on acknowledging and combating racism in church and society. There are articles on an open adoption in the U.S., and on three Korean adoptees’ reunions with their birth families. Although no birthparents were involved in the book’s planning, a letter from a Korean birthmother to her daughter is included, as is a letter from a social worker who has worked with many birthmothers.
A resource list of websites, books, adoption agencies and counseling agencies concludes the book.
Please see these related blogs:
Faith and Adoption: A New Series: This series, from families.com’s sister site adoption.com, is on a birthmother’s blog. She tells of how faith may be challenged, strengthened or even lost throughout the placement process. Among other issues, she also talks about her anxiety telling her pastor and fellow church members about this part of her past, and her joy when her daughter and her adoptive family visit her church. This is an ongoing series, published every Sunday within the author’s regular daily blog.