We really appreciate all of our readers who’ve helped us get this year off to a great start! Here’s a recap of blogs from Sunday January 14 through Sunday January 21.
Sunday, January 14
Ed shared his success story of finding the right school for his children in Our New School.
Anna continued her poignant letter to her daughter in Makala, We Decided We Wanted to Adopt You and Your Brother.
I (Pam) did a Book Review: Inside Transracial Adoption. This book is one-half information on identity formation and complex issues, but one-half fascinating glimpses into real experiences of transracial adoptive families.
Monday, January 15:
In Developmental Vs. Chronological Age,
I discuss how environmental, psychological and cultural factors may affect children’s maturity, and how we can help our children “make up for lost time” while continuing to progress toward age-appropriate activity. I also share my funny story of when I realized I had a toddler on my hands, not a baby!
Book Review: Real Parents, Real Children
I share my favorite adoption book which has information about how children think about adoption at various ages, what issues may arise at various ages, and how to help children who were moved at or experienced trauma or neglect during each developmental stage.
Adoptive Parenting Traits
Ed writes this series on traits of successful adoptive parents in response to the many people who tell him they’ve wondered about adoption but aren’t sure. First, he writes here, you must love and enjoy children.
Next, Ed writes, you must be able to adjust to sudden developments, shifts, and hardships and the anxiety of facing situations you have likely not been trained or prepared for.
Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 2
Tues. January 16
On Having a Calling
In this great blog, Ed shares the story of his work retirement party and the reception his plans to work with the powerless received from his fellow executives, and of running into them as he drove to a family shelter years later, their unexpected affirmation of his calling, and the greatest affirmation of all that comes from the sight of his sons.
Fast Transitions
Melissa shares the story of her sons’ transitions to her home. While acknowledging that long drawn-out transitions are not beneficial she warns of the pitfalls of ones that move too fast.
Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 3
Ed cautions that adoptive parents must have an acceptance that some things cannot be simply resolved by love and parenting skills, but must be waited out or in some cases just accepted.
Wednesday, January 17
Adoptive Parenting Traits, More Part 3
Ed shares the flip side: his experience of worrisome issues healing more rapidly than ever dreamed possible given a little love, stability, stimulation and faith.
Raining Babies: Birth Siblings
Melissa writes movingly of going from wondering if she’d have the chance to be a parent to having more opportunities arise than one family could handle.
“Exporting” Children?
http://adoption.families.com/blog/exporting-children
I tackle the perception of sending countries not caring about their children. I tell our story of visiting Korea and our daughters’ early surroundings, address the obstacles to in-country adoption and the perception of bribery, and end by being inspired by the dedicated individuals in sending countries whose first concern is the children.
Adoption and Your Employer
Anna contrasts the reactions of her employer and her husband’s employer to their adoption, and asks readers to share their stories.
Thursday, January 18
A lifebook is a tool your child can use to make sense of her past and present and form a solid sense of identity. I describe them in One of the Best Gifts You Can Give Your Child: a Lifebook
Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 4
Ed tells us that adoptive parents must be willing to be strong advocates for their children’s needs, educational, health, psychological and other needs. He shares some examples.
Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 5
In part five, Ed discusses the sensitivity, and sometimes the thick skin, needed to allow adopted children their thoughts and shifting emotions.
Friday, January 19
Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 6
Adoptive parents need “staying power”, Ed says, and illustrates this with tales of family road trips.
Saturday, January 20
Getting a Baby vs. Parenting a Child
I share a conversation which caused me to worry if desire for a baby sometimes crowds out acceptance that a child will need to be loved at all stages of life. We need an awareness that children are individual souls who cannot be owned or wholly controlled.
Sunday, January 21
Having talked about individual children’s lifebooks, I talk here about a family storybook, which may be used in transitions or to promote bonding. Your Family Storybook talks about how each family member, including parents, joined the family.
In the two blogs Being Prepared for the Future and
Caring for the Poor, Ed shares how he and his family were led towards adoption by experiences in the inner city, and how a venture he and his wife originally thought didn’t accomplish much had a profound effect on their birth children.
Thank you all for reading! We’ve enjoyed your comments and look forward to getting to know you all better!