Here we are at week three of 8 Weeks to A Well-Behaved Child. Last week we talked about giving praise and attention. Our assignment for the week was to give praise and attention five times each day. I started the week out doing really well but slipped about mid-week and had to remind myself what I was supposed to be doing. When things get hectic it’s so easy to forget to praise our kids but this kind of encouragement is exactly what they need.
During week three we learn how to use rewards and privileges to strengthen behavior. Just like when we give praise and attention, using rewards and privileges will help to shape our children’s behavior in the way that we want it.
There are three rules we need to follow this week:
(1) Be perfectly clear about what it is you expect from your child and the behavior you want strengthened.
(2) Select a payoff that your child will consider highly desirable.
(3) Give the payoff only after your child has earned it by behaving appropriately.
Is there a difference between a bribe and a reward? According to the author bribes are rewards and treats we give to stop misbehavior. Rewards and privileges should not be used to stop misbehavior but to strengthen desired behavior. And the rewards don’t have to be monetary or even things that you buy. Some examples of rewards and privileges include: trips to the playground, reading a book to your child, using the family car and playing outside later than normal in the evening.
Parents must also build in a way to end rewards and privileges before starting the program. You don’t want your kids to expect a reward or privilege for every single thing that they do. Other tips to remember when giving rewards and privileges include:
Give the reward or privilege immediately after the desired behavior occurs.
Use a verbal description and a praise to accompany the reward or privilege.
Sometimes, give a reward or privilege spontaneously and at other times, let your child know in advance that they can earn a special treat.
Have realistic expectations for how your child will be able to earn the reward or privilege.
Now for this week’s assignment. First, think of a behavior that you want to see increased or strengthened. Then, think of a reward or privilege that will be given if the desired behavior occurs. Write both down and also write the days of the week down. Each day that you use a reward or privilege, mark it on your paper by that specific day of the week.
And that’s it for this week. Next week we’ll look at using reminder praise and increasing compliance with expectations.
See also:
8 Weeks To A Well-behaved Child
Week One: 8 Weeks To A Well-Behaved Child
8 Weeks To A Well-behaved Child Week Two
8 Weeks To A Well-behaved Child Week Two, Part Two