Weight loss should not equal beauty, unfortunately for many of us, it does. Yet, weight loss and beauty go hand in hand in American society. I’m not just pointing the finger at Americans; by the way, it’s a pretty common phenomenon the world over. However, in the United States, we’ve taken this to a new extreme.
Now, don’t get me wrong and don’t confuse health, with beauty. We are bombarded daily with images and messages that explicitly and implicitly detail physical beauty and how much nicer it is for those of us who have it versus those of us who don’t.
Our culture applauds the pretty people. We follow their successes, we follow their failures and yes, to be perfectly catty about it, we revel when they fall. Why else would the whole TomKat phenomenon exist? They are certainly pretty and decently talented, but the cult level status the paparazzi has bestowed? I hardly think.
If losing weight makes you feel better and by feeling better, you look better – that’s great. However, we condition our children from birth that pretty is as pretty does and that we don’t like ugly. Our fairy tales do not like ugly. Our culture does not like ugly. So what if we like pretty versus ugly? Of course, we like the smiling child over the screaming brat—but we go a step further – we define what is physical beauty.
We say that fat, overweight; bald, thick jowls, oddly shaped features and whatever is the current fad are not pretty. Therefore in our culture if it is not pretty it must be ugly. Is it any wonder that our children who are bombarded by this message that they suffer from issues of self-esteem, self-confidence and yes, for some, eating disorders.
Part of the problem is too many of us look at pretty and physical beauty as being linked to success. However, some of the most successful people I know – are not classically pretty nor do they measure up to the physical beauty of someone like – Lauren Graham or Famke Janssen.
Oprah Winfrey was overweight for years and you cannot deny she is a mega success. What about Donald Trump? Is he physically attractive? Does he have physical beauty? Not by our popular definition and then there’s Martha Stewart – she’s a fairly ordinary looking woman – but she is a household name and while you might be able to list a few Presidents that were physically attractive, most of them weren’t and they are still pretty darn successful.
So if you are convinced that losing weight will make you one of the pretty people and that will then equal success – the problem is that while we link physical beauty with success – it is only linked in our perceptions. First and foremost, you have to care about yourself – when you care about yourself – others will care too. We often project our own self-image onto others, when we think we’re awful – others are going to feel the same way.
Yes, I want to lose weight – I want to feel healthier. I want to be lighter. I want my clothes to fit better. Do I think I will be more attractive? Maybe. But is that reason the reason to commit to a weight loss regimen? No. Because if your goal is physical beauty and to measure up to the popular culture you are setting yourself up for a huge amount of disappointment and damage to your self-esteem the moment you slip or do not have the success you want in your weight loss efforts. Remember that your beauty is personal and it’s as much about who you are as what you look like and about how you feel about yourself, as other people perceive you. Your weight loss efforts will benefit from this confidence as much as the rest of your life will.