Other magazines usually release their “sexist female celebrity” lists, but Maxim has gone one step further – they just released their Unsexiest female celebrity list. Their Unsexiest Woman Alive article includes women from all over the world that appear in movies, on television, and on stage.
So, who made the undesirable list? Coming in at number 5 was Britney Spears. Now to me, this is a case of kicking someone when she is down. Britney does look a little worse for wear lately, but about five years ago, she was on everyone’s hot list. However, the people at Maxim said that her unsexiness was due to two kids, two husbands, a slight weight problem, and “losing the ability to perform.” Personally, I find her shaving her head, attacking paparazzi, and losing custody of her children unsexy, but then I am a girl.
At the number 4 position is Madonna. This is another singer who has been listed on sexiest lists, only to find herself now as one of the unsexiest. Maxim found her to be unsexy due to her “self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration.” I can’t really disagree with the bellyaching part, but was it really necessary for them to say she was like “Willem Defoe with hot flashes?”
The number 3 position is held by “Grey’s Anatomy” star Sandra Oh. They said she had a “cold bedside manner” (isn’t that really just her tv character?) and a “boyish figure.” I am sure she cannot help the boyish figure and personally, I think she is cute, so I don’t think she deserves to be on the list.
Number 2 is occupied by troubled British singer Amy Winehouse. Now I have seen photos of Amy Winehouse – talk about a boyish figure! But Maxim didn’t mention that. They said she made the list because of her “translucent skin” and “rat’s nest mane.” Well, the hair is a bit much, but it is part of her image.
Finding herself in the unlikely position of number 1 is Sarah Jessica Parker. They said of the Sex and the City siren “How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with ‘sex’ in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth.”
Wow, that is harsh. I have to defend Sarah Jessica. Yes, she is not a classic beauty, but if you ask me, Sarah Jessica does more with what she has than any woman alive. She has great hair, a cute figure, and she dresses to suit it, so I think she pulls herself together very nicely, unlike me who usually spends my day in a t-shirt and sweats. I am glad Maxim didn’t come to my house!