I have to remind myself periodically that perfection really isn’t the goal. As a parent, I tend to judge myself and feel judged by the world at large based on how my children behave and perform. Of course, no one is learning anything from perfection and not taking risks–it is those bumbles and stumbles and trial and error that build character, personality and competency. Why do I forget that?!
It’s Holiday Letter and Holiday card time of year. My mailbox is full of glorious and glossy tales of family achievement and perfection–smiling, scrubbed kids; parents who’ve taken yet another dream vacation or received that challenging and lucrative new promotion; everyone is excelling and succeeding to read the wordy tales that tumble out of colored envelopes.
Well, we’re not perfect. In fact, when I look back over the past twelve months, I see that my teens’ development, growth and maturity has been directly linked to the mistakes and problems and risk-taking behaviors that we parents hope to avoid. I can’t help but recall that old saying: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” It certainly seems applicable to parenting and raising families. I wonder if I should send out my own holiday letter stuffed full of our family honesty–the phone calls from the principal and teachers, the missed curfews, the late assignments, the slammed doors and disagreements over privileges and activities, the negotiations, and my own laundry list of parenting mistakes I wish I could do over. Those are the messy places where the real changes and development occurred.
We’re definitely not perfect, but I figure we’re pretty typical. I think I’d like to celebrate all the mistakes that got us where we are this holiday season…and take a big, deep breath in preparation for the coming new year!