Most of us come to parenting with all sorts of preconceived notions and ideas about how our family is going to be, what kind of parent we will make and our personal philosophies about discipline and such. Many of us find that our philosophies shift quite a bit with the realities of actually parenting the child or children that we are blessed with. I do think it helps, however, to take stock of what we expect out of the period of childhood—do we think that childhood is for worry-free play and experimentation? Do we think that childhood should be spent learning and preparing for the future? What do you think childhood should be all about and does it mesh with the reality of raising your child?
While I do agree that many two-parent families clash when it comes to basics like discipline and limit-setting, I also think that the clash can run deeper and actually be a difference in personal belief systems and philosophies about the meaning and purpose of childhood. Some people see childhood as a training ground, a chance to shape and teach and prepare a child for the life of an adult. Others believe that childhood should be stress and worry-free, low on the expectations and high on the creativity and play and still others believe it is a little of both or have other ideas about what childhood is all about.
Knowing where you stand and knowing where your partner stands, if you have one, can give you and jumping off place to decide what sort of parents you really want to be and to help you shape a compromise of the childhood you would like your child to have. For those of us who are single parents, I think it is still valuable to know where we stand on the meaning of childhood so we can be in touch with our belief system and make any adjustments that might need making and let our philosophy guide us in our parenting choices.