Often times, ignoring unsavory and unappealing behavior in our children is the best way to get it to stop. It is an ancient and very effective tool to have in a parent’s tool bag if you are able just ignore some things—they will go away if the child doesn’t get the hoped-for response from mom or dad. However, ignoring is not always the best route to take and there are some things that should NOT be ignored…
As a rule, any behavior that is dangerous or destructive should not be ignored. This goes for things a child does that are dangerous to his or herself and self-destructive, as well as behaviors that cause harm to things, property, pets, and people. These behaviors need to be attended to right away with firmness and focus.
Children do not always know that what they are doing is dangerous and what is dangerous for a three-year-old, might be alright for a ten-year-old (climbing a tree, for example) so this is where parents need to develop and exercise good judgment. Also, as a rule, when a child is doing something dangerous or destructive, parents should step in and stop the behavior first, then have conversations, explanations and apply reasoning to the situation. Trying to reason with a child in a dangerous or destructive situation (“Please get down off that high, crumbly wall—it isn’t safe”) is negligent. A parent needs to stop or remove the child first, then talk.
Watch out for patterns—some children are just more risk-takers than others, yes, but if a child is constantly choosing dangerous behaviors, or doing things that hurt others (including pets, toys, and property) this could signal a more serious problem. Parents need to be attentive, not just to the immediate behaviors, but to trying to discover what is the motivation behind them.
See Also: Pulling in the Reins, Learning to Just Say No, Preparing Kids for an Unsafe World