I’m a pretty flexible parent—especially now that I’ve been at this for a couple decades and have learned to roll with things a bit. I’ve allowed my kids a fair amount of leeway in terms of what they can and can’t say and have tried to foster an open relationship where communication is key and they can say anything to me. That doesn’t mean I’m always happy or I like what they say and it also doesn’t mean that I don’t let them know there are some things I really don’t like!
One of the things that they weren’t allowed to say when they were younger (at least not around me and not in our home) was “Shut up!” I’ve noticed now that when my now teenage son is being particularly rebellious, he will actually tell someone in the house to “Shut up!” and I know that a big part of it is that he knows it is one of the things I absolutely can’t abide. In a house where language and freedom of speech are one of the rules, it has always been unacceptable to me that one of us would try to squelch the speech of another. “Shut up!” always seems so barbaric, ignorant and not to mention aggressive and rude.
I realize it’s a fairly common thing for children to tell each other to shut up and for kids to try to cut off unwanted comments with the brief “Shut up!” but, boy, it is like sharp fingernails on a chalkboard for me when I hear little children (and big ones too) barking at each other to “Shut up!”
I know that I am likely fighting a losing battle—it’s such a common phrase and definitely part of the child’s arsenal of word weapons, but I’m going to stand my ground. Certainly, my teenage son has picked it as one of the few places he can assert his independence and show that he’s not going to abide by Mom’s rules but I’m not willing to give this one up. Telling people to “Shut up!” will remain unacceptable in my house and my little world.
See Also: Wrestling with Language