Change, evolution, letting go–all topics that the single parent usually becomes quite familiar with. Many of us have been forced into a cycle of change or have been through some major crisis or trauma or life-altering event(s) leading to our role as a single parent. While we may have learned a thing or two about adjusting to new things and accepting change–there may still be some things, people, or ideas that we are clinging to that would be better off left behind…
For me, part of what happens when I start to feel overwhelmed is that I am taking on new things–new people, new “stuff”–without letting go of the ones that I no longer need. Instead of flow and change, there is more of a “piling up” which forces me to have to sift through what is working for me and what is not. As single parents, we might be trying to adjust to the now and the future, but not fully letting go of the past. This can make us feel overwhelmed, exhausted and stuck. Where do you think that old phrase “banging your head against the wall” comes from? Even if you think you are moving forward (and we really are all moving forward all the time)–heavy weights of the past might be making movement much more painful and much more difficult.
I know that we get conflicting messages about “holding on” and “letting go”–but if something is draining a great deal of your energy or keeping you from fully moving forward, whether it is a person, a job, an obligation, a personal philosophy, etc. it just may be time to leave it behind for good. As overly-responsible single parents, we may see this as abandoning something or someone we should just keep “working on,” but I think if you take the time to truly listen to your heart and instinct, you will know what you should be leaving behind in order to make room for a new and brighter future.
Also: Giving In Vs. Letting Go