It took me a long time to get used to those days when my kids went to their father’s house. At first, it was just weekends, but after being with my kids almost non-stop for years, it seemed strange, quiet, lonely and (I admit) a bit of a relief to have some kid-free time. Now that my kids are older and it’s been years of single parenting, I have gotten somewhat used to not having them with me all the time, but they are also on more flexible schedules now so I am seldom completely kid-free. But, for many of us single parents, learning how to make the most of our “kid free” days can take some getting used to.
Some single parents love being able to sleep in and wander around, lingering over personal projects and visiting with friends. Others use the time to get the house in order, take care of errands, or get in some extra work. Over the years, I admit that I’ve experimented with all of those approaches. Once I got used to the temporary silence and healed from the pain of divorce and adjusted to life as a solo adult, I have been able to derive some great peace and pleasure from the hours or days when my kids are with their father. Plus, in my situation, I learned that even though my kids are not physically “with me” I am still “on” as a parent. They call me, there are soccer games and other activities to attend, and now that they are older, they are just as likely to show up on my doorstep when they are supposed to be at their father’s as not. So, my “free days” aren’t necessarily completely free–once a mom, always a mom.
How about you? Have you adjusted to having time to yourself when your child is away? How do you spend it? Do you feel rested and ready when it is time for your child to return or do you miss them when they are away (or both!)?
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How Flexible Do You Have to Be With Your Custody Arrangements?