I wrestle with trying to NOT let myself become typically rigid as I get older. I think there are often two directions we can go in life as we get older and battered by the realities of living–we can make up our minds and stick to a rigid personal philosophy, or we can allow ourselves to evolve and let our minds and philosophies be changed. As single parents, we have often been through some rough and rugged times and in the attempt to get our lives under control, we make some pretty definite decisions and make up our minds pretty firmly about things–dating, work, what it means to be a parent, where we fit into our communities, what our children will be like. What does it take, however, for us to CHANGE our made up minds?
There are times when I think I have all the answers. Okay, maybe not ALL the answers, but I do feel pretty secure and strong in my opinions and the direction I am heading in. As someone who is convinced everything that happens in life is an opportunity for a lesson, I can often get in a place where I am determined to “learn” my lesson from everything so that I don’t ever have to repeat it! As a single parent, I think this is fairly common personal philosophy to develop–we get determined to learn from our mistakes and trials so that we don’t repeat them again! This means making up our minds pretty solidly about many things.
I have learned that while having a direction and trying to learn from my mistakes is a good thing, what appears to be the right direction today or this week, may not be the way I need to go next week or next year. I only have so much control and as my children get older–what I once thought was “best” for them has also morphed and changed. My mind has been changed by life, experience, and parenting. I still have a tendency to strive for control and purpose–but I’m learning that my mind is never as “made up” as I think it is!
Also: Staying Open When We’re Tempted to Do Just the Opposite