I visit another message board and I am constantly astounded about how often I read some message a parent has posted complaining about his or her child’s teacher or school. Some of these parents have me shaking my head in disbelief over the things that they are blaming teachers or schools for, when in reality these parents should be blaming their own children for the issue.
Let me explain further. One parent posted on how she was upset that her child received a certain number of days of in-school suspension for having a cell phone in class. She went on to explain that there is a school rule of no cell phones in class, but she still thought the punishment of an in-school suspension was a bit too harsh. She did admit her child broke the rules but really she thought the rule was not fair and the punishment too strict.
Another parent went on to complain that her child was suspended along with several other children due to a food fight in the school cafeteria. She was upset because her child joined in at the last minute and only threw one piece of food. However, anyone who was caught or had been seen throwing food was suspended, including her child. Again, this parent thought her child was being punished too harshly for participating in a food fight, even though in almost every school I have ever been in, throwing food and food fights are against the rules.
I read these messages without responding, because I am also reading some of the responses from other parents, several who seem to agree that the consequences said child received for his or her actions was a bit tough. Never mind that schools are enforcing rules and that these children broke the rules. Never mind that a school that doesn’t enforce rules would be chaos. Never mind that rules are posted, discussed with and often times even role-played for students to learn. Never mind that the school was doing its job and it seems by doing this; was getting a bad rap. A bad rap for enforcing a rule!
It makes me wonder: What happened to the good old days? The good old days when a rule was handed down in a school setting, a parent called and a child was disciplined along with the words from a parent, “You will do whatever the school has as a punishment, you chose to break the rules, you do the time.” Or something similar to that. What happened to the good old days when parents supported schools and the discipline policies within each school, without hesitation? What happened to parents telling their child to accept the discipline AND disciplined the child at home for misbehaving at school?
Why has that line of thinking seemed to go by the wayside? Why do parents now cry foul or unfair when their child is disciplined at school for breaking the rules? Why do parents talk poorly about a school or a teacher in front of a child, thus causing the child to do the same? What happened to the good old days when children were taught to respect his or her teacher, regardless of personal feelings?
It is frustrating for teachers and schools in this day and age to hand out a consequence only to have parents make excuses, demand that the punishment be reversed, complain that a punishment is too harsh or even bad mouth the school for the punishment. This happens more often than I can say. What I want to know is why? Why does this happen? What has changed so much in the 20 years since I was in high school and junior high? Why are parents now so much different than when my parents were parenting my brother and me though school? Someone explain to me what happened to our society that has caused such a change.
I am already instilling in my four year old about what will happen if he gets in trouble at school. He knows Mommy and Daddy will have consequences for him at home as well. Too harsh for a preschooler? I don’t think so. The teacher in me sees this as a necessity so my son grows up knowing that school behavior and home behavior are directly related and if something happens at school he better believe he will have consequences at home. He also knows that he is to respect his teacher and what she says goes. If I were to ever have a problem with his teacher, he would never know about it, because I would never mention it to him, ever. I would discuss it with the teacher or school without my child being involved.
What happened to the support teachers and schools used to get when it came to discipline? I am not sure, but just reading what other parents say and do, I know that I certainly do long for the good old days. The good old days when teachers and schools were more supported in discipline policies and enforcing rules. I am hoping those days won’t be gone forever. I intend to start with my child and myself as he goes through school. What will you do?